Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
--Timothy Jones

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
--Desmond Tutu

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the Moon landing was faked.
--David Letterman

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
--Italian Proverb

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
--Prince Philip

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
--Jean Rostand

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
--Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
--Arthur C Clarke