1. Enjoy the Indian Accent

It is Tamils are always proud to be Tamizhs ; Pretty courteous (that is what they think, at least!). They speak yenglish but sorry, no indee (Hindi). The more common Madarasi (chennaisi.. .,now?) is an ardent fan of kireeket matches wharever he may be.

Their counterparts in Bombay think they live in America but speak Hinglish like ...'are you sure ki Sujata aa rahi hai ya Ill go akelaa!' And they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi Grammar too. The BEST hypocrites in the world. Kyaa...m

Thamizhs, are verrry lecky to have 'simble' neighbors in the keralites who are a komblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the Middle East, I guess; and now even the Sheikhs feel wary of them) but they have excellent GK , eat a lot of chooclyte and own 99.998765% of tire shops in the world and form 99% of nursing community.

Not far behind the Kerals is the Telagu Desam, who are totally againesht flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu (fleet). Worustu, no?! But they (think) are greatu in CICSu,Microsu and COBOLu! Generally sane peoplesu (and so you can always findu them judgingu, probhingu, queschioningu othersu ...)

The Canadians, excuse me, the Kannadigaas aor (are) the coolest in the south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia oare (or) an ebola virus outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils in Karnataka. Cauvery very bad! When it comes to Rajkumar (actor), if a fly sits on his nose, they'll burn the entire city of Benglore to kill the fly! To hell with Silicon valley! I-ron firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu, filamu are some of their favorites.

Maharashtrians are a conservative, confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar, that is because gavasakar, tendulkar, bahulkar.. confused?? that is because sitting in southern part of India they would ask the other person 'are you from Maharashtra or from South India..?' and genuinely wonder why the other person takes some time to answer the question. They like the principles of pheejix and their phaborite character in the alphabet is Zay (god knows where that came from). Although soft, peace loving people but they elect the Shivsena to rule them.

And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the Gujjubhais. They like to keep kes in the benk and their favorite past time is eating snakes like paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja at the local snake bar. They gobble down alak sev like their life depends on it and believe in the brotherhood of man and sisterhood of woman (everybody is a bhai or a ben).

If you go further eesht, you land uf Udissa- the land of irron (r is stressed) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The people are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask you B or Bhe. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze roll nomber jero, jero, sebhen. AAnd his brother was Asees (Ashish).

Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud oph Subas Chondro Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (I used to know a director by name Satyajit Ray who was also pretty good) and everybody is Xda. I used to havbe a friend by name Dada. Wonder... never mind. Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, tho!

Bihari kids are supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in the universe!). How we wish they grow up the same way,...but.. . And Biharees are bery phond of Laloo, Rabdi, Ranchi, Chaaraa. ka isse bhadiya tumre pass kooch hai, kaa?! spit spit... spit paan..

UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool with their Ishtainless ishsteel tiffin boxes and istudying metals to make lots of ishteel.

Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offer "Rotti Shotti Khaayegaa?" to which I once replied "No". He said "Tage itu, yaar! By Godu! Surjeetu, what happenedu, oi?". Then of course, everybodys a paappe or a kaakke. That is Panjaab for you.

And Kashmir (called Cashmir by many, may be because of the amount of cash spent to keep it in India)?!? I know Roja (or Roza?) was shot (I mean filmed) somewhere nearby...

But at the end of the day, wherever you are in the world, whether it is in Sunnyvale, CA; Birmingham, UK; UmmAl Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road, Singapore, ask them who they are and you'll get just one answer - 'INDIAN'.